I feel like a terrible mother.

For the past few weeks Jack's sleep has slowly deteriorated at night. Chock it up to the 4 month sleep regression. For the past several days he has been waking up at night on average around 6 times. I've stopped swaddling him (Emily's post was a kick in the pants), so that seems to be adding fuel to the fire. To make matters worse, dh is out of town for another week for business.

I'm slowly losing it. The lack of sleep combined with sheer fruastration is making me resent Jack. I feel anger towards him...which is completely silly- he's just a baby. But having to deal with nights without dh is wearing me down big time. Even though my husband isn't exactly all that helpful with the baby at night...just having him there keeps me sane. Now I'm sitting here at the computer in my breastmilk-stained top, listening to my very pissed off son cry. I'm no huge advocate of CIO...but I seriously needed a few minutes to clear my head before going back in.

I don't know what to do. I can't last another week through this. Sorry for the vent...I knew you girls would understand. Any suggestions?

sweety dont feel bad. i have plenty of moments where i feel like i will lose it and i just let cookie cry. in fact my pedi and my nicu dr both said its always good to walk away and let them cry when your frustrated. you know why? because when you dont, your baby ends up in the nicu from shaken baby syndrome. theyve seen it too many times and they all told me "if you gotta get away for a bit DO IT, your baby is safer and better off than you trying to work through it" because your only going to get more pissed off and upset and stressed and thats when things happen. do not feel bad at all.

i know your having a rough go and your doing your best. your a great mom to jack. when things get tough, leave jack in bed and go out on your back porch with a glass of wine and sit for a couple minutes then go back and snuggle your baby youll both be in a better situation after a couple minutes to cool off (you being calm will help you calm him better)

i hope that his sleep troubles will get better soon. is he waking up to eat? or is he waking up to just fuss? is he no longer tired? maybe wear him out more during the day and hell sleep better? im not sure if i have advise there but just know that your not letting him CIO your giving yourself a time out and its perfectly fine to do

I know you may "feel" like a terrible mom- but please believe me that even moms with dh home all the time go through this. There are only so many sleepless nights and screaming sessions before one cracks. The best advice my mom ever gave me was, "When you feel like screaming too- leave the room."
I see this as different than CIO. CIO is teaching the baby to self sooth. Stepping out and regrouping is allowing yourself a break so that you can be a better mom. Bonus points are never earned by staying in the room when you are at the end of your rope. And every mom has a breaking point. *hug*

DH was deployed for 6 months- left when Rhett was 3 months old. I stepped outside once a day- shut the sliding door- and took a mental break. As long as he was fed, dry and not able to hurt himself I knew he would live for 10 min. It gave me sanity.

Don't feel guilty for needing a break. Elisa is right- you calm yourself down and he will calm down too. I think the anger will pass if you allow yourself a break when you need it. Wine is a great idea, BTW.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad! But I really understand your pain. I felt like that for weeks solid in Eli's worst colic time. It is really, really hard. I would feel sad, angry, and then guilty for being angry at a baby. I would feel resentful that it wasn't like I thought it would be, resentful at Josh for not being here (he worked nights so I was doing it alone while he worked all night and slept all day), and just miserable. I know it's controversial and I got slammed for putting Eli down to cry after I held him screaming for two hours but he was like that ALL THE TIME and no one can understand until they've been there. It it OKAY to put him somewhere safe and let him cry while you get your wits back. You are a great mom, and everyone knows you love him. He knows it too! It is going to get better but in the meantime, it's okay to feel however you feel!

I have gone through this, I understand. I remember telling DH not even a week ago that maybe we shouldn't have more kids (and I want to have at least 1 more if not 2) because I think I am a bad mother because I get frustrated. He tells me it is normal and thinks I am silly, but I still feel horrible sometimes. Elisa is right, you need a break every once in awhile.

Emily - I'm going through this right now too. Maxie is with DH right now, screaming her head off. Her sleeping is all screwed up and she is being very difficult no matter what I do. He is giving me a break and I decided to finally catch up on the posts on here. I so badly want her to "CIO" but just can't bring myself to do it. I hear him jokingly threatening to put her in her crib to CIO as he is already losing patience after only 20 minutes. Maxie has decided to only sleep for 45-60 minutes and then stay awake for only 45-60 minutes before cycling all over again. 24 hours a day. I'm at wits end and also feel terrible for some of my thoughts. I yelled at her earlier to "stop it" and then her cry changed. I felt like just dying since I knew I affected her. Not a good feeling.

*hugs to everyone struggling to stay positive through sleep issues*

Do you have any family or friends around that could come over for a few hours to give you respite?? DH works nights so I always do the nights and they can be SOOO frustrating! The difference for me though is that Dh is home in the AM, so he'll let me sleep a small chunk. If you need to step away for a minute for your sanity, do it. It'll make you a better mother in the end, even if he needs to cry for a few minutes. HUGS!! You're not a bad mom! DH just had bad timing for going out of town!!!